A woman stuck on Earth

1. My 10-year-old daughter now wears the same shoe size as I do. She loves picking fancy pairs from my collection for her various performances. Whenever she hijacks my brand-new shoes the moment they arrive, I just laugh and think to myself, "I'll get those sparkling heels back when she outgrows them." 2. While I do take my puppy to training classes, I also intentionally spoil her. It is so stress-relieving to know I don't have to be strict with her. Instead, I get to be the doting mom I always dreamt of being but couldn't—one who doesn't have to worry about whether her child will fit into society, or if she must learn to be polite, kind, helpful, hardworking, and unselfish just to be accepted and loved. My puppy gets to stay with her mommy for her whole life. She never has to learn the "proper way to be a woman" just to have a good life; she will never get pregnant, have pups, or be slaved into marriage. Her ultimate marriage is with her human momm...

Ever since my month-long trip to China and India this past July, I’ve been reflecting. Why did it feel so good? A long vacation, sure. But I realized the constant dopamine rush came from the impact we were making—the waves we created wherever we went.  Simply being the version of myself I chose to be, living a life I purposefully designed regardless of societal expectations, and existing in pure satisfaction and contentment was enough to stir something deep in the hearts of those around me. One of my relatives in China put it best: "You guys are so happy, all of you. That happiness is pure, deep, and unapologetic—it's rare to see. I'm so grateful to witness it and deeply moved by it. Please come back every year." Yes, we’ve lived in the land of individualism for almost as long as we lived away from it. Here, most people around us reside on their own private planets. Over the years, we’ve learned to expand our universe to fill an entire planet of our own—all while keep...

​"How many times have you been at this turn?" the officer asked. ​"It's my first, actually. My son just started at this school. My husband usually sends him to school in the mornings, but today it's me because it's the 9 a.m. 'late start' day. And my self-driving was taking me to turn left. I waited for a while, then thought I was blocking traffic in the roundabout, so I manually took over." ​"There are three signs showing 'No Left Turn'." ​"Oops, I'm so sorry, officer..." ​"Haven't I told you not to let self-driving take you from door to door? You're going to get into trouble because of it!" said my husband. ​"Well, on a positive note, we're going to be here for the next 5 years. It's good to know there's no left turn right outside the school. I bet traffic police wait there every new school year to catch 20–30% of the new parents—just like bears waiting on the rocks of a st...

Our lead guitarist (and vocalist) was expecting a shipment for an expensive new guitar today. The moment it arrived, he insisted everyone in group chat guess how he got such a fancy instrument. "You won the lottery!"  "You must've gotten a ton of tips recently!"  "Nope. Momo, your turn!!" "Your sweet girlfriend gave it to you as a gift!"  "I knew Momo would guess it right!!" Yep, call me the Queen of Romance! Maybe I should write romantic novels like Bridgerton or Wuthering Heights when I’m a grandma. lol

During a 10-day trip through China—from Hong Kong to Beijing to Fujian—my Indian sister-in-law was turned upside down. She couldn't stop marveling at how advanced the country was: spotless, organized cities, giant skyscrapers, sprawling highways, women safely navigating life and running businesses, high-tech on every corner, and a complex high-speed rail network. You name it. ​To her, comparing India and China is no longer valid: "India is way too backward on all fronts, and China is as good as America, if not better." ​I spent a lot of time explaining the reality behind what she was seeing. While no one should dismiss China’s achievements, I had to remind her: ​"You have no idea how hardworking the Chinese people are—any system would look good with a population like ours. But there are two Chinas. One is the government's China, where every inch of land and every human life belongs to them. We are merely resources to be used, so naturally, they can make the citie...

​There will be a celebration for my dad's 70th birthday while we're there. It’s a massive event—hundreds of people are invited, with a detailed program and a host to navigate the dinner through games, entertainment, and speeches. ​I was assigned to give a speech as his daughter. "Here, this is your script for the speech," my parents told me. They had written the entire thing. I am just supposed to walk onto the stage and read it out loud. ​"How can they do this?!" my husband reacted. "They truly control everything they can, and they never give you a chance to be yourself, do they? A 41-year-old woman isn't even given the chance to write her own speech..." Even after 17 years together, my husband is still in fundamental shock every single time things like this happen. ​But it’s true. This is the authoritarian relationship my parents and I have. Or, perhaps I should say, the authoritarian relationship they have enforced upon me. ​Family dynam...

The only thing we can think about now is the trip. And I know the only thing they can think about now is our arrival. We have all been planning, booking, and communicating for months—especially over the last few weeks. As I walk through this life's events, I understand more and more why there is absolutely no force in the universe that could sever my connection to that place, the place I still call home: because of love. I was born out of love and raised in love. All of my senses have been filled with love since day one, and all the lessons of life I learned there were about love. Love—unconditional love—from my parents, my grandparents, my uncles and aunties, my baby cousins, my entire extended family, my friends, my teachers, and my first love. My heart is always so full and ready to give because of them; I unapologetically receive and naturally give unconditional love because of each and every one of them. They poured love onto me, each day and each night, wherever I walked and ...