A woman stuck on Earth

​I believe I have arrived at a very good place in the ups and downs of my life's journey.  First of all, I started hearing this from my husband: "I'm an extremely confident man, but you're even more confident than me. You're supremely confident; it's sometimes hard to keep up with you!" ​ It's true that I have never felt a tiny bit of inferiority in any aspect of my life or myself since I was a little kid. I have also never doubted my ability to do anything I decided to do because I have never really cared about who said what, for as long as I can remember. I am simply progressing through hard work and living my journey at my own pace, on my own terms. ​ But this "supreme confidence" energy that my husband is experiencing from me now - I think it truly blossomed after becoming a mother. It bloomed after opening my legs in the delivery room in front of a crowd of excited family and friends welcoming their first newborn, and after losing myself...

I was trying to explain to my mother-in-law why matriarchal social structures are far better for raising children than the fragile, traditional familial structure (one man and one woman), which is largely a byproduct of patriarchy and capitalism. ​"It’s normal for people to grow apart and break up, especially in romantic relationships," I told her. "Relying on a single man-woman couple to stay together forever is like relying on a single bridge cable to hold a massive ship - if that one line snaps, everything drifts away. But if, like elephants, children were born into all-female herds, they would never have to experience the loss of a significant part of themselves the way they do when a mom and dad divorce. In a matriarchy, the guardian structure - consisting of moms, aunties, and grandmothers - is fluid and flexible." ​"But children need a mom and a dad..." My mother-in-law was not so convinced. ​"I’m talking about a matriarchal structure, Maa. ...

​I had an appointment with an OB/GYN nurse for a vaginal swab and ended up learning a lot about perimenopause. ​For about 10 days, I experienced significant joint pain, most likely due to hormonal changes - even though I have a progestin-releasing IUD in my uterus that magically topped my periods (God bless IUD!!). The nurse noted, "It could be a sign you're entering perimenopause, too." ​From our 20-minute conversation, I learned that: 1. ​Definitions: Menopause is clinically defined as the point 12 months after your final period. However, there can be a transition period of 7 to 10 years of perimenopause before reaching that point. 2. ​Timing: On average, menopause occurs between the mid-40s and early 50s; therefore, perimenopause can start as early as age 35. 3. Testing Limitations: If you take hormonal level tests, a hormonal IUD can impact the results. To get a perfectly accurate "natural" reading, you would have to remove the IUD, though this is often un...

My son didn't eat the lunch Grandma packed today because he won second place in his class vocabulary competition and was rewarded with free pizza. He’s been furiously studying vocabulary on his school laptop recently. I was worried about his screen time at first, but whenever I sneaked a look and saw him learning, I chose not to intervene. My son has always been praised for being ultra-focused, whether it’s horse riding, fencing, music, or school subjects. He can spend hours undistracted, researching and building airplanes or rocket ships from cardboard and shampoo bottles. As a mother, I take some credit for his level of focus. I always go back to how strictly I implemented a "no screen policy" for the first six years of my children's lives. It was so rigorous that no adults were allowed to use devices in their presence. I learned about the devastating impact of screens on development when I was pregnant with my first child. Most programs - even those labeled "e...

This parallel universe we exist in is deeply corrupted and malignant. In my understanding, the root of all suffering and misery is the Center Shift: the absolute center of human beings, in this reality, has shifted from Love to Possession. ​The center was supposed to be love - at least, it should be if we truly want to prioritize connection and happiness. If all human behaviors were centered around love, women would naturally take the lead, and children's wellbeing would shape our destiny. What an entirely different reality it could have been; yet we have become the walking dead, our imaginations too atrophied to even dream of a different path. ​In this universe, however, the human center is ownership, possession, and power. Where Love builds, Possession occupies; where the Mother nurtures, the Patriarch exploits. As a result, the center of all things is not the matriarch, but the patriarch. The greed of old men is placed at the very center of the podium; collectively, we live un...

It always puzzles me why, in modern spoken language, "fuck" and "fucking" are the most used words when it comes to intensified emotions. It is true in English, in Chinese and Hindi as well; I suspect it’s the same across the board. ​Obviously, propagation has been the most essential purpose of any species on Earth. However, if you have tasted the depth of love-making or the soul-intertwining that occurs within physical proximity, you know that the raw physicality of sex - the act itself - cannot compare to the emotional weight it carries. ​Then why is our most common linguistic "exclamation point" centered entirely on the word "fuck"? ​I think the most prominent reason is how bodily intimacy has been demonized and turned into a taboo under the propaganda of mainstream religions and rigid social structures. For centuries, the act was stripped of its spiritual or recreational nuance and reduced to a shameful necessity or a hidden sin. When a word r...

I had been struggling with recurring UTIs (Urinary Tract Infections) for years. One trick that worked for me for a while was to "pee within 10 minutes after any sexual activity"; a PCP gave me that advice in my mid-20s. ​However, over the past two years, even though I strictly followed this preventative hygiene ritual, I still experienced symptoms abnormally often. I dealt with a frequent urge to urinate, a burning sensation while peeing, and an inability to hold my urine -- yet my urine cultures often came back negative for bacterial infection. I was chronically troubled, lacking both a reasonable explanation and a foreseeable path to recovery. ​During my most recent OBGYN visit, I discussed this further with the Nurse Practitioner. At the time, "overstimulation" was the most likely cause I could think of. Based on that, the nurse suggested that "while stimulating the clitoral area, stay a little higher so as not to disturb the urethra." She also pointed ...