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The speech

​There will be a celebration for my dad's 70th birthday while we're there. It’s a massive event—hundreds of people are invited, with a detailed program and a host to navigate the dinner through games, entertainment, and speeches. ​I was assigned to give a speech as his daughter. "Here, this is your script for the speech," my parents told me. They had written the entire thing. I am just supposed to walk onto the stage and read it out loud. ​"How can they do this?!" my husband reacted. "They truly control everything they can, and they never give you a chance to be yourself, do they? A 41-year-old woman isn't even given the chance to write her own speech..." Even after 17 years together, my husband is still in fundamental shock every single time things like this happen. ​But it’s true. This is the authoritarian relationship my parents and I have. Or, perhaps I should say, the authoritarian relationship they have enforced upon me. ​Family dynam...

Beyond time and space

The only thing we can think about now is the trip. And I know the only thing they can think about now is our arrival. We have all been planning, booking, and communicating for months—especially over the last few weeks. As I walk through this life's events, I understand more and more why there is absolutely no force in the universe that could sever my connection to that place, the place I still call home: because of love. I was born out of love and raised in love. All of my senses have been filled with love since day one, and all the lessons of life I learned there were about love. Love—unconditional love—from my parents, my grandparents, my uncles and aunties, my baby cousins, my entire extended family, my friends, my teachers, and my first love. My heart is always so full and ready to give because of them; I unapologetically receive and naturally give unconditional love because of each and every one of them. They poured love onto me, each day and each night, wherever I walked and ...

The director of the film

250 human years; 17 years of a taste of it. The self-immolation of Lobga Rangzen; the forever push-and-pull deep in the bones of my identity as a Han colonizer and a colonized, Indigenous South-Chinese. The stalled, unfinishable sci-fi novel turning into a raw reality in the awe of my new revelation; one story after another, new stories birthed by old stories that I am mindfully and intentionally navigating my path into. Is any of this real? I created this entire universe in my mind, didn't I? Visited M and Y in their Oakland apartment: "My consciousness, my mind, and my body are distinct from one another. My true existence—my consciousness—is not confined to my body and mind, but exists in everything in the universe; in fact, it is the universe itself, and I am the director of my own physical life's film," Y calmly narrated. "Consider yourself extremely rare, because you arrived at the gate of spirituality out of a sense of happiness, contentment, and fulfillmen...

The "Why" 3

I woke up from a dream yesterday morning. It was a message sent to me from the spiritual realm.  I have been receiving such messages my whole life. The moment that truly made me believe they were from a spiritual realm - in fact, the moment that made me believe there was a reality entirely different from the one we currently inhabit - was when I had distinct birth dreams while pregnant with my two children. In those dreams, I received all the information I needed to understand my children's genders, their personalities, their purposes for coming to this earth, and the immense power they carry.  If I suddenly wake up and vividly remember the images or stories that came to mind, I know they are true messages, rather than the blurry murmurs generated by my own physical brain. Since those birth dreams more than a decade ago, I have received only a handful of these messages - they are not frequent at all, appearing perhaps once every few years. This is because I have never actively...

The "Why" 2

As I was updating my Chinese friends on my thoughts about the "Why," our discussion went a step further as we applied our own unique perspective - the Chinese circumstance. We do that all the time; every single issue can be slightly or vastly different under the unique realities of being Chinese.  "Think about Buddhism. Although it was first fiercely promoted by Wu Zetian - China’s one and only female emperor, who used it because Hinduism and Buddhism view Goddesses as equally powerful, thereby increasing the masses' acceptance of a female ruler - the ruling class later never actively promoted it again. Instead, it was the ordinary people of China who embraced and spread Buddhism themselves. Why? Because if a 'religion' or way of living aims to liberate people from their physical bodies and help them achieve enlightenment, that school of thought will only bring trouble to a ruling class by creating too many freed souls. Instead, Confucianism has been the sole...

The "Why"

​If all physical entities on Earth - animals and plants alike - are merely temporary dwellings for our souls, and if our souls are just drops of water belonging to a vast, interconnected ocean of the One, then why is human connection so fractured? ​There are countless animal communicators who can telepathically connect with other species. Yet, we humans, who self-recognize as "the same species," rarely speak of communication that goes beyond words and physical vibrations. We should be able to telepathically communicate with each other, shouldn't we? Why aren't we doing it? Why don't we even believe in it? ​The "why" is simple: animals are pure, open, and spiritual. They communicate with their hearts, their whole bodies, and their intuition. Humans, on the other hand, generally exchange thoughts using only our minds, leaving our hearts out of the equation. We habitually block our intuition. Our minds are always guarded, on defense, and under control. We c...

The animal communicator

It is finally time for us to welcome our third child. The difference this time is that the initiation came not from me or my husband, but from our daughter. She has been begging us for a dog since the day she could speak a full sentence. I take these milestones seriously. Just as I fiercely researched child education for a year before my firstborn arrived, I have recently been immersing myself in the role of a "dog mom." One thing led to another, and as if waking up from a dream, I suddenly found myself on the path to becoming an animal communicator, exploring telepathy for interspecies communication. I haven't had my first breakthrough yet - that initial moment most animal communicators describe as shocking because "it really happened." However, after listening to just one story, I believed this to be absolutely true. I do not have a single doubt that living beings can connect and communicate telepathically, nor do I lack the confidence to do it myself. Within ...