A woman stuck on Earth

My body is sensitive; in some seasons, I experience recurring UTIs. At my primary physician's office, I was usually seen by her nurse practitioner, an Iranian woman in a hijab. For years, I kept an open mind and an open heart with her, pretending that she was acting professionally and providing helpful treatments and tips. Her comments sometimes included: "Don't have sex for a few months; that's the only solution to your recurring UTI problem," "Touching could cause UTIs too," "Now you are forcing me to know about your life," "Don't wear thongs; it moves around and brings bacteria to the front," and "I can't order you tests unless you have symptons and you have to come to the office so I can order the test."  It wasn't until I transferred all of my private-part care to my OB-GYN's office that I realized how unprofessional those comments were. My OB-GYN is a Vietnamese man who knows exactly what he needs to kn...

The doorbell rang while my parents were downstairs watching a loud TV show. I was upstairs, waxing myself. My mom opened the door, called out to me, and it seemed most likely that someone had come to the door for something other than a delivery. I quickly wrapped myself in a robe and went out of my bedroom. A young black man was standing at the door. I didn't intend to go downstairs, knowing I wouldn't need his service. Leaning on the stair frame and looking down at the front door, I told him that we had just done an "upside-down, inside-out" remodeling last year. "You speak Mandarin, right? Y'all Chinese?" The Black guy lifted his head and smiled at me. His teeth were so white, and his dimples were so cute. Gosh, he was an attractive young man. "Yeah!" "I just got this girlfriend from China." "Oh, yeah? You learning Mandarin, too?" I was engaging in the conversation. "Yeah, yeah! I am going to China soon, to Shanghai....

I love sex as much as I love dining out and traveling. One thing that pops up in my mind once in a while is: Will I still be able to enjoy it or be capable of it after menopause? I've never learned anything about this specifically, but it's "common knowledge" that a woman's time is up before, and definitely after, menopause. ​And yes, it's still not too urgent for me to conduct a thorough research on this topic or involve AI. I've only been asking around whenever I get a chance. ​I've asked my mom and female friends who have gone through this. No one had an answer. I only got to learn about many scary menopause symptoms, such as mood swings, painful joints, hot flashes, and sleepless nights. Most women can't say much about sex. ​Then I met this gorgeous woman, a friend of a friend, who was in her 60s. I took the chance and started the inquiry. What I learned from her is going to change my experience in older age for sure. ​According to her, old...

Shiv and Aditi have been learning to fence (foil) for more than two years now. For the past year, they've been regularly participating in local and regional competitions. Their performance and results in these competitions fluctuate a lot, even though their techniques and skills don't fluctuate much. ​What we've observed and realized is that at this early stage, their results are largely dependent on their mood of the day, which is mostly a matter of confidence. If they believe they are better than their opponent and capable of winning, they will most likely win. If they somehow believe they are weaker, a loss is 100% certain. This is especially true for our son compared to our daughter. Most of his losses happen because he gives up before the match even begins. ​Since birth, parents nowadays always encourage their kids to "never give up." We did the same. But only when real situations happen do you see how much inner strength a child has, and you realize that all...

I came to the Bay Area Endoscopy Center for a procedure and found myself in the waiting room with three older Shanghainese women and two older Cantonese women. They spoke to each other in their respective dialects - Shanghainese and Cantonese. ​Earlier, my mom couldn't believe I would go through a deep-sedation endoscopy alone. She was so worried she almost forced herself into the car to come with me, breaking down in disbelief. I insisted on going by myself because my procedure was scheduled at the same time the kiddos would be getting out of school. My dad told me that in China, any anesthesia procedure requires the patient to be accompanied. And I noticed that from both groups of Chinese women, only one person was the actual patient. ​Then, two more women entered the room: a young Latina and a middle-aged black woman. The Latina girl was visibly distressed. The black woman held two bags and the young Latina's hand the entire time. She told the receptionist, "I am her Ly...

One day when I was about 23, I woke up in the college town of Lille in northern France and realized I had been severely brainwashed by the regime of my birth country, China. For the next two decades, I did little else but try to fix that problem. Now, 20-odd years later, as a 40-something woman living in California, my gut screams on good mornings that I am stuck on my birth planet, Earth, and can do nothing much to fix that problem. Stuck on what? you might ask. Hence this blog: an attempt to express the whole lot of this revelation. In a nutshell, I'm stuck on consumerism, materialism, and capitalism. I'm stuck on patriarchy, religious extremism, and the forever-ongoing aftermath of colonialism. I'm stuck on monogamy, sexual suppression, and the systemic repression of love and romanticism that exists beyond the confines of societal norms. I am stuck on social media, on the sudden manic race of AI that nobody can fathom the consequences of yet has blindly dived into, and o...