The center

​I believe I have arrived at a very good place in the ups and downs of my life's journey. 

First of all, I started hearing this from my husband: "I'm an extremely confident man, but you're even more confident than me. You're supremely confident; it's sometimes hard to keep up with you!" ​

It's true that I have never felt a tiny bit of inferiority in any aspect of my life or myself since I was a little kid. I have also never doubted my ability to do anything I decided to do because I have never really cared about who said what, for as long as I can remember. I am simply progressing through hard work and living my journey at my own pace, on my own terms. ​

But this "supreme confidence" energy that my husband is experiencing from me now - I think it truly blossomed after becoming a mother. It bloomed after opening my legs in the delivery room in front of a crowd of excited family and friends welcoming their first newborn, and after losing myself entirely for a decade in selfless motherhood, only to slowly find myself again in the people and things that have absolutely nothing to do with my journey of being a mother.

​Then, what made my soul at ease and at peace at this stage of life is the realization of the importance of friendship throughout a lifetime. ​

The core pillar of modern patriarchy - the idea that marriage must consist of one man and one woman - imposes the expectation on us that a spouse should be our sole, primary companion for life. While this is entirely true for countless beautiful cases, it is also painfully untrue for too many who have suffered in the fruitless pursuit of it. Meanwhile, within the pages of my Holy Bible, I find the truth that each person’s life on Earth is ultimately a lone journey, and nobody is meant to be there with you for the entirety of it. People come and go: parents, children, lovers, friends. (If you are wondering about my religious beliefs, I believe spirituality resides within each being - the god or goddess is within you, and organized religions are often just a tool the powerful use to control and exploit the masses.) 

I used to allow my mind to fall into a certain sadness, anticipating the ultimate loneliness that life holds. I do not anymore. Not after I started gravitating toward friendship as the center of my life. ​

Now, I seek and discover friendship in all of my relationships - motherhood, romantic courtship and partnership, platonic bonds, family tied by blood or responsibility, connections with people who come together for the same causes, or even the brief encounters of strangers. 

Friendship does not ask for binding contracts or performance reviews; it simply asks us to show up as we are, for as long as the season lasts. Focusing on friendship in all of my relationships ensures I welcome all encounters with an open heart and open hands, reminding me to take nothing for granted, since meaningful connections are built solely upon communication and effort. And surely, life onward will be filled with diverse and dynamic friendships that will keep me inspired and motivated until the end.